


Paradise Lost

by Vague_Shadows



Series: Paradise Lost [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epilogue, Exile, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grinding, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Honeymoon, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Massage, Memory Loss, Memory Magic, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Post-Canon, References to Depression, Stamina Rune (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Supportive Isabelle Lightwood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2020-03-06 05:49:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vague_Shadows/pseuds/Vague_Shadows
Summary: "By the time you read this letter, my memories of you and the shadow world will be gone.  It was the price the angels made me pay for the runes I've created...."A story of what happened to everyone else after Clary left the institute that night, and in the year that followed...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The finale left us with so much potential for imagining epilogue details I couldn't resist! This is my first foray into writing for this fandom. Hope you guys enjoy!

**"The descent into Hell is easy."**

Virgil, The Aeneid.

 

**“Long is the way and hard, that out of Hell leads up to light.”  
**

John Milton, Paradise Lost

 

 

* * *

**MAGNUS**

* * *

 

Magnus panics when he sees the look of pain that flickers across Alec’s face before he cries out and drops to the floor in a scene all-too-familiar.  Last time, Jace was dying on the shores of Lake Lyn; tonight, they're all supposed to be safe--as safe as shadowhunters can be anyway--and just enjoying the wedding reception.

“Alexander?”

“Find him, Magnus,” Alec beseeches.  “I’m fine; I’m okay. Get to Jace. I saw him--leave--go towards---the living quarters,” he finishes through gritted teeth as the pain seems to intensify.

It’s a small scene, most people on the dance floor didn’t hear Alec over the music, but Isabelle saw, rushing to join Magnus as he begins his search.  Leaving Alec behind as he struggles to regain his feet in spite of the pain. He dreads what he’ll find when he turns the corner into Jace’s quarters, bracing for blood, readying his magic to lend whatever aid he can.

Except Jace seems unscathed.  Standing still but steadily with his back to them.  Magnus’ eyes flit around the room, searching for signs of danger--or hint that they’ve fallen for some sort of trap.  

“Jace?” Izzy says, approaching slowly.  “Are you okay?”

A broken sobs shakes Jace’s shoulders as he turns.  Izzy rushes forward, and her brother all but collapses into the embrace.  Amazing how small Jace looks wrapped in Isabelle’s arms as she shushes him and says, “Talk to me, Jace.  What’s going on?”

“She’s gone,” he replies, pulling away from Izzy and wiping at the tears on his face.  He thrusts a piece of parchment into her hands, and she begins to read.

“No,” Izzy protests.  “No, this can’t be right.  Clary misunderstood something.  That’s all. We just have to find her, Jace; come on.”

She rushes from the room, thrusting the paper at Magus as she goes.  Jace follows just a second behind, leaving Magnus to play catch up as he reads the note that brought Jace such agony.

“By the time you read this letter…”

_Oh, Biscuit, what did they do to you?_

 

* * *

**ALEC**

* * *

 

As quickly as the agony came, it evaporates, and Alec would think the worst--that Jace was dead--except that he’s overcome with a sense of hope just as he catches sight of his siblings sprinting toward the exit.  Magnus isn’t far behind them, and Simon has noticed as well. Alec hurries to catch up, hoping it’s not a mistake to leave without first grabbing his weapon.

“Look, there!” Izzy calls just as Alec comes out into the cool night air.  “There she is! Clary!”

“Clary!” Jace calls as well, but she doesn’t turn.

“Clary, wait!” Simon adds.

There is no reason she wouldn’t turn; it doesn’t make sense.  Three of the people she loves most in the world, and she doesn’t even glance back at them.  Something is wrong. Very wrong. Then they reach her, Simon first with his speed, and she balks away, clearly startled by his sudden appearance.  She slaps him hard across the face, screaming for help, and mundanes walking through the park notice. Several of them

“Clary, what are you doing? It’s me. It’s Simon.”

“I don’t know you!” Clary insists, continuing to back away.  

“Magnus, what the hell is going on?” Alec asks, coming up next to Magnus, who’s hanging back, letting the others confront Clary.

“She’s been banished,” Magus says stonily, “by the angels themselves.”

“What?! No, that’s not--she just stopped Jonathan.  She killed Valentine. She’s neutralized more major threats than any other Shadowhunter alive! They wouldn’t punish her for that; there’s no justice in--”

He cuts off his protests as Magnus presses a crumpled piece of paper into his hand.  

“If only the angels were as just and understanding as you’d like them to be, my love,” Magnus replies sadly.  “Unfortunately, they hold the Nephilim to whatever high standard they deem fit; and it seems they had no mercy to spare for Clary, hero of the Shadow World or not.”

“Magnus, we have to do _something_ ,” Alec insists.  

“Not to sell myself short,” Magnus says, “and demonic royalty I may be, but it’s still no match for pure angelic power.”

So Alec watches, helpless, as the others continue to try and connect with Clary.  

 

* * *

**SIMON**

* * *

 

“Would you just _talk_ to me? What happened? Why’d you walk out like that?” Simon asks.

“I said stay away!” Clary repeats forcefully.  

“Let me help you; did something happen? Are you hurt?” Simon continues.  Izzy and Jace reach them, laying hands on Clary’s shoulders. She screams, eyes wide in fear as she looks around wildly and then at Simon--he realizes that while she may feel their hands on her, she certainly can’t see through their glamor.   Simon realizes Clary’s skin bears no runes anymore. She looks completely mundane.

“Leave me alone!” Clary shouts frantically, continuing to back away as she pulls at what must be to her invisible captors.  

A young woman in a blue hoodie who’d been jogging past stops and removes her ear buds, glaring at Simon before looking to Clary with concern.   

“Hey, you need some help?” she asks.  “Is he bothering you?”

“No!” Simon protests.  “I’m trying to _help_ her.”

“That’s not really what it looks like,” the woman says skeptically.

“She’s my best friend, okay? She--”

“I don’t _know_ you!” Clary insists, to Simon’s continuing confusion.  “Stay away from me!”

“We’ve been best friends since grade school!” Simon tells her.  “Clary, what happened to you?”

“Look, man, maybe you should just go,” the woman suggests.

It’s what Izzy and Jace are doing, retreating from the scene, Izzy pulling at Jace’s arm and, both of them looking more broken than Simon’s ever seen them before.  He’s struggling to figure out what the hell is happening. What did he miss in the five minutes he took to grab a shot of O- and a fresh martini for Izzy? But Clary speaks and draws his attention back to the moment at hand and away from discerning whatever led up to this.  

“I’m not going anywhere until I know she’s okay,” Simon nearly shouts at the stranger; he’s on the verge of full blown panic. “So you can call the cops or whatever you want to do, but I’m not leaving.”

“Clary? That’s--am I--Clary?” she asks, eyes wide and still frightened.  

“Yeah,” Simon confirms, reining in his frustration and fear for the sake of being gentle with her.  “Your name is Clary. You don’t remember that? Do you remember anything? At all?”

“The name sounds familiar,” she answers.  “Kind of.”

“Hold on, I know what’ll help,” Simon says, inspiration striking.  “I’ve got like--a million stupid pictures of us on my phone I can show you.   You _know_ me Clary, I swear you do,” he says, during the phone toward her as he scrolls through pictures--most of which are selfies of them making silly faces with a crazy filter.  “See, look. Not just tonight, but--but weeks and hell, _years_ before that even.  I mean, give me enough time and I can probably find that throwback thursday post you put up of us dressed as munchkins for the school play when we were seven.”

“Oh,” Clary says, clearly dumbstruck as she takes in the images, glancing from the photos up to Simon’s face as if checking to be sure it’s really the same person.

“Did you maybe hit your head or something?” the stranger asks, hostility quickly waning now that there’s some evidence to back up Simon’s claim.  

Simon struggles to think of some story to explain this to a mundane, something that will get this woman out of their hair and also maybe give Clary some logical explanation to grasp until they can figure out what the hell happened.  

“You know what, we--uh--we were at a party,” Simon says with a gesture to their clothes.  “Maybe someone slipped something in your drink, Clary? You’re just disoriented.”

“But I don’t remember _anything_ ,”

“Well, you’re walking and talking, so at least you remember the basics,” Simon says with a half-hearted laugh.  

The stranger glares at him again.  “You should probably get her to a hospital,” she suggests.  “Maybe make a police report.”

“Yeah, yeah definitely. Hospital. Totally.  Come on, Fray; let’s see if we can find a cab.”

“Fray?”

“Last name,” he explains.  

“Clary Fray,” she repeats, the words clearly feeling foreign on her tongue.

“The one and only,” Simon confirms.  “Trust me.”

“I do,” Clary says, and she seems surprised to realize she’s said them.  

Simon smiles.  “Good, then, then I need you to come with me, okay?” he asks, offering her a hand.

“We’re going to the hospital, right?” she asks.

“We’re going to get you help,” he confirms, not wanting to lie outright.  “Can you look at me for a second though?”

She’s clearly puzzled by the request, but she does as he asks.   With no runes to protect her, he should be able to encanto her. Maybe it’ll be enough, just a simple fix.

“You remember everything now,” Simons tries, “Everything about the Shadow World you’ve ever known--everything about yourself that you’ve ever known--you remember it all.”

She stares at him for a moment, then blinks rapidly, shaking her head like she’s trying to wake up after dozing off.  For one, wonderful moment, Simon thinks that it worked, but then she grimaces apologetically and says, “Sorry, I think I zoned out.  What were you saying? About catching a cab to the hospital?”

“You--you don’t want to do to the hospital,” Simon tries again.  “You’d rather go to Magus’ apartment. He’s a family friend.”

“I think maybe I just need to lie down,” Clary says, eyes glazing over slightly.  “I should probably just go back to Magnus,’” she says seamlessly.

“Yeah, we’ll go to Magus’ and we’ll--we’ll figure all this out,” Simon says, trying to calm himself as much as Clary, but the forlorn looks on the others’ faces leave him certain that figuring this out is a task easier said than done.  

  


* * *

**ISABELLE**

* * *

 

It takes some more of Simon’s encanto work and a little magical assist from Magnus, but they portal Clary back to Magnus’ apartment quickly enough.  Izzy watches helplessly as Simon and Magnus try to break through this curse the angels have cast over Clary, but nothing works.

_You know, I grew up surrounded by brothers, who I love with all my heart. But deep down, I’ve… always wanted a sister..._

In the end, Magnus lulls Clary to sleep with magic to buy them all some time to process this, and try to plan how to move forward.  Simon leaves to go find Luke and explain. Magnus excuses himself to return to the institute and explain their absence to the guests, Jace and Alec have long since retreated to elsewhere in the apartment, leaving Isabelle alone with Clary.

_I always thought I never needed a parabatai--that I was at my best when I was on my own, but that was before I met you..._

Isabelle fumes silently, because _this_ is why she used to be so insistent on her independence and having minimal attachments.  She watched the grief of others as the people they cared about were hurt, and she wanted no part of that agony.  How could she have let herself forget the truth of this life? She let herself be open to all the mundane experiences and relationship standards Clary brought into their lives--embraced the change with eagerness.  Now, it’s all falling apart--somehow worse than a simple death of a soldier in the line of duty--and she’s sitting here powerless to help her best friend--her _sister_ \--her parabatai-to-be--and the pain is more than she knows how to bear.  

 

* * *

**JACE**

* * *

“What are you still doing here?” Jace asks as Alec walks out onto the balcony.

By way of answer Alec merely raises the glass of whiskey that he’s holding in each hand.

“You’re supposed to be doing that back at the institute,” Jace reminds him gruffly.

Alec just shrugs, coming to lean against the balcony rail beside Jace, who takes the drink gratefully and focus on the burn of the alcohol in his throat instead of the intangible ache in his chest.

“You’re not going to ask if I want to talk, are you?” Jace wonders, taking comfort in the familiar conversation they’ve had innumerable times over the years.

“Figured you’d talk when you were ready.”

“I knew there was a reason you were my parabatai,” Jace says, trying and failing to force a grin.

“She was going to be Izzy’s parabatai,” Alec comments.

“What?”

“Izzy told me not two hours ago. She was so excited Clary asked. She never thought she’d find anyone to ask and now…”

The silence between them grows until Jace finally breaks it.  

“How could this _be_ , Alec?” Jace demands, he means for the words to come out angry—furious, even—but instead his voice breaks.

“I don’t know,” Alec answers, “but we’ll figure something out. We always do.”

They stand quietly for a moment or two longer before Jace downs the rest of his drink and shoves the empty glass back to Alec.

“Okay, your brotherly duty is done. You checked on me; now get back to your party.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Alec replies stubbornly.

“It’s your _wedding night,”_ Jace reminds, thinking bitterly what a cruel curse of the angels it is that the happiest day of Alec’s life is the worst day of Jace’s; no doubt his misery is spilling over into his Parabatai’s mood.  How is it that Jace manages to ruin everything he touches?

“Magnus saw what the pain did to us,” Alec says. “He understands.”

“Us?” Jace repeats, realizing, “You actually _felt_ it?”

Alec nods. “I thought you were dying,” he admits somberly.  “I didn’t know it was possible to feel emotional pain like a physical wound through the bond.”

“I didn’t know it was possible to feel pain like that at all,” Jace mutters bitterly. “Sorry to drag you down with me.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Alec tells him firmly.  

Jace eventually notices that Izzy is lingering by the door, to the balcony.  Sensing her hesitation, Jace meets her gaze, nodding to the empty space on his right to invite her to join them. She comes to lead against the cold brick without a word, looking almost as if she’s in a trance.   

“Empty handed?” Jace comments, to break her from her thoughts. “At least Alec came bearing alcohol.”

“Oh, I—I didn’t think,” she replies, sounding distracted. “Sorry.”

“I’m kidding,” Jace replies.  “You okay, Iz?”

“Of course not,” she snaps back.  “None of us are.”

Silence hands after her words, because there’s no denying the truth of her words.

“But that doesn’t mean you should leave Magnus alone to see off all the weddings guests solo,” she tells Alec.   

“Yeah,” Jace agrees, “shouldn’t leave your husband all on his own.”

A small smile crosses Alec’s face at the word “husband.”  It’s the reaction Jace was hoping for, in all honesty.

“I don’t mind--” Alec begins to protest, but Jace shoves at him and commands, “Go!”

“I’ll be here,” Isabelle says, and Jace is more grateful than he’d admit that she says it.  “We’ll let you know if we need you; you’re only a fire message away, big brother. Go enjoy your night.”

With visible reluctance Alex leaves, pulling his phone from his pocket, apparently to call Magnus for a portal because in the next few moments he's there to whisk Alec away in a blur of purple, leaving Jace in not-so-peaceful silence with his little sister. He misses Alec's easy quietness immediately.  

“Do you want to talk about it?” Izzy prods Jace.

“No,” Jace says firmly, rolling his eyes.  

“Well tough,” she tells him, crossing her arms.  “Because we need a plan, and you’re going to help me.”

“What _plan_?!” Jace demands, incredulous.  “There’s nothing to plan because there’s no way to fix this.  You know it as well as I do. The angels did this, and nothing on earth can undo it.”

“Maybe not,” Izzy concedes, “but we can still plan for her--set her up for the best mundane life that we can.  Set her up to have a good life--even if it’s not a life with us.”

As soon as she voices the option, Jace clings to it like a lifeline--instead of drowning in his sorrow this is something he can actually _do._

“You’re right,” he says, steadying himself with a  deep breath.  “We need a plan.”

Whatever it takes, however simple or elaborate this plan needs to be, if he can’t be with Clary he can at least make sure she’s safe and happy.   


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This chapter is a bit of a tease. I hope to have the next one up soon, but, if you hate that kind of thing, you might like to wait and read chapters 2 and 3 together.

* * *

  **ALEC**

* * *

 

He stands on the busy sidewalk, using his runes to watch and listen in from afar with Magnus as they monitor Clary’s progress in her first day at the mundane art school, just in case there are any flaws in the plan.  They’ve managed to construct a new life for Clary with a foundation of truth from her real life--explaining her absence from school thus far by faking medical records and memories of severe PTSD brought about by the loss of her mother, father figure, and best friend in a tragic car accident.  It was impressive work on Simon and Magnus’ part, devoting the better part of two days to meticulously authoring enough memories to give Clary the sense of self she needed to move forward.

Not long ago, Alex stood near this very spot, chastising her for negating the point of her glamor by forgetting to silence her cellphone.  It seems like a lifetime ago. He remembers wishing she would just give up on the Shadow World; go back to her mundane existence; and stop complicating Alec’s life. Now that Clary really is gone from their lives, he’s prayed almost unceasingly to the angel to show Clary mercy, to bring her back to them.  

Alec is drawn out of his melancholy as Magnus takes his hand, threading their fingers together loosely.    

“I know that face, Alexander,” he says, “and whatever you're thinking to the contrary, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty for.”

He opens his mouth to contradict the assumption, but in the end he just sighs.  Magnus will see through the lie anyway; he knows Alec all too well to be fooled with a flippant sentence or two.   For another few moments Alex can’t quite find the words to express his contrition. Finally he just says, “I’m supposed to be a leader; leaders protect their people.  Maybe Jace is the one who really brought her into this life first, but I followed his lead,  and after a while it--she--she was like--”

“Family,” Magnus supplies, and Alec nods.  

“She trusted us to teach her and to help her survive this life and--”

“And she _did_ survive it,” Magnus points out.  “Look what a wonderful first day she’s having.”

“It’s not the life she chose.  She didn’t deserve this. _Jace_ didn’t deserve this.  We should’ve--”

“It isn’t your fault," Magnus insists.  "I have lived long enough to know that life comes with unavoidable collateral damage,” he says grimly.  “But I have also lived long enough to know that there are forces at work in this world that are more mysterious and powerful than even the angels.  I can’t help but think we shouldn’t give up on Clary Fray just yet.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” Alec replies, “but I still appreciate it.”

“I am saying it because I believe it’s true,” Magnus persists.  “How else would you explain a handsome young shadowhunter falling madly in love with an eccentric old warlock?”  he wonders, raising their hands so he can grace Alec’s knuckles with a brief kiss.

Alec can’t resist a smile.  For all the chaos, grief, and anger following Clary’s transition out of the Shadow World, Alec still finds himself lost in a moment of elation here and there when he has the time to appreciate that Magnus is--and always will be--his loving _husband_.

“I wonder,” Magnus says with a bit of hesitation.  “Assuming Clary makes it through the day with no major issues, of course, whether you and I might--”

“Finally get around to our honeymoon?” Alec supposes, finishing the sentence for him.

Magus nods, grinning unabashedly.  “Well, now that things are as settled as they can be, who can blame me for wanting a little distraction from the tragedy by spending an idyllic honeymoon in Capri with my husband?” Magnus asks.  “Unless you’d rather go back to Naxos?”

Alec hesitates, with a brief glance back to where Clary is taking her seat for the lecture, making small talk with the girl in the seat beside her.  It seems selfish, to be thinking of running away to his honeymoon when Jace just lost the love of his life to a memory void and she’s left alone--at least so she thinks--and possibly in need of continued protection until they’re sure the shadow world has forgotten about Clary Fray as much as she’s forgotten the shadow world.

“We’d only be a fire message away,” Magnus reasons.  “One word and we’ll portal right back.”

“You make a good point,” Alec concedes, but Magnus must sense his continued reluctance--and probably guess than Alec needs some time to keep pushing back his guilt before he can commit to leaving--because Magnus suggests.  “We’ll see how the day goes, and reevaluate tonight? After dinner?”

“Yeah,” Alec agrees.  “That sounds good.”

 

* * *

**MAGNUS**

* * *

Magnus will never understand how so much guilt can be contained in one mortal soul--much less Alexander’s soul, a man so determined to stand for what’s right and what’s just--and yet always so certain that he’s somehow failing in his goal.  No one is perfect; but it certainly hasn’t stopped Alec from setting that unrealistic standard for himself.

And Magnus will never in all his years forget just how slight of a nudge it took to get Alec to step off the edge of the balcony that night…

No doubt his husband could do with the bit of peace a honeymoon could offer, but if he just forces Alec to go it won’t do either of them any good.  Alec’s hesitation earlier is enough for Magnus to see that there’s no point in whisking him off to a sunny isle if his mind is still dwelling on the problems of his people in New York.  So as soon as they return to the institute that evening after handing off the task of monitoring Clary’s progress to Simon and Lucian, Magnus goes in search of his new sister-in-law.

 

* * *

**ISABELLE**

* * *

 

Izzy enjoys losing herself to the task of repairing the Seraph Blade that Underhill brought to her earlier.  It gives her a task to focus on and tune out the rest of the world for a while. Magnus’ voice brings her from her reverie.

“Your brother thought you might like some dinner,” he says, offered her a nondescript brown paper bag, “Tacos,” he says by way of explanation, “from the new street cart you like so much.”

She’s about to claim she isn’t hungry, but her stomach growls and betrays her.

“Thanks,” she says instead, resolving that even if she doesn’t have much appetite she should try to get something in her system. “How’s Clary?” she asks, proud of how even she managed to keep her voice.

     “Relatively speaking, she’s fantastic. Delighted with her first day at art school.  Arguably one of the happiest mundanes in New York today,” Magus answers. “What about Jace?” he wonders.

     “Shut up in his room,” she says, sighing, “attempting to take out all his frustration on a punching bag.”

    “Alexander guessed he’d be on the roof,” Magnus says, “but I’m sure he’ll find his way down soon enough.”

     “Not sure there’s much he can do,” Izzy replies.

      “And you expect that to keep him from trying?” Magnus points out.

“No,” she concedes, “and it probably means I should go get ready to referee.  With the mood Jace has been in all day he might just opt to pick a fight.” She rolls her eyes but there’s a fond smile on her face when she says “Brothers,” with exaggerated exasperation.  “How was he, today? Alec?” she asks.

“Not terrible,” Magnus says, “but I can’t help thinking a little time away might be good for him.”

“And you’ve already derailed the honeymoon by two days,” Izzy adds with a teasing smile, “so you’d like to get a move on?”

Magnus looks only slightly abashed.  “If there was something to be done--if I thought staying would be productive or helpful in some way, then I wouldn’t push, but--”

“You don’t have to convince me you’ve got Alec’s best interest at heart,” she interjects.  “You’re the best thing that ever happened to him, Magnus,” she informs him earnestly. Magnus seems speechless, but touched, and before he can reply she adds, “After all that’s happened, you two deserve a chance to have some time to yourselves.”

“I’m not so sure I’ll convince him to leave his parabatai in the middle of heartbreak just for the sake of going on a vacation anytime soon,” Magnus confides, and she hears the indirect plea for assistance in the words.    “Even if it  _is_ for his honeymoon.”

“Leave Jace and Alec to me,” she says, accepting the challenge.  “Alec delaying this trip won’t do either of them any good. Just wait here.”

She heads for Jace’s room, knowing it’s where Alec will check once he’s searched the roof to no avail.  Sure enough, when she starts down the hallway Alec is pounding on the door.

“I mean it, Jace, open up,” he says, rattling the handle obnoxiously.  “At least let me know you’re--”

“He’s fine,” Izzy says pulling at Alec’s shoulder to get him to move away from the door.  “I force-fed him half a sandwich for dinner and everything.”

Alec frowns, unconvinced, and reaches to pound on the door again, so she catches his arm by the wrist to stop him.  

“You know Jace better than anyone,” she reminds, “and that means you know as well as I do that he needs space right now.”

“So what am I supposed to do? Just let him wallow in his misery by himself?”

“I told you,” Izzy says.  “I force-fed him earlier. I’m keeping an eye on him.  He’s not alone.”

“I’m his parabatai.”

“And you being here--newly married and happy but missing your own honeymoon to stay with him---is supposed to help Jace, how?”

“I’m his _parabatai_.”

“Exactly, so if you get away and find some time to relax, maybe some of that euphoria will transfer through to him.  Either way, your presence isn’t going to help like it usually does. As happy as he is for you and Magnus, you literally just got the happily ever after that’s gone for him now; you’ll both be walking on eggshells because you don’t want to rub it in his face and he doesn’t want you to think he’s jealous or bitter," she points out unforgivingly, and she can tell by the look on her brother's face that he's been worrying over the same thoughts.  

“I can’t just leave him here and go sip daiquiris on some beach while--”

Alec breaks off the sentence as Jace’s bedroom door opens.   Jace looks much the same as when Izzy saw him an hour ago--clearly disheveled and dejected but more-or-less okay.  Alec moves to go in the room, but Jace stops him with a hand on Alec’s chest.  

“Izzy’s right,” Jace says shortly.  “Everything she just said--she’s right, Alec.”

Isabelle smiles.  Nobody knows these idiots as well as she does.

_Mission accomplished._

“Jace, I can’t--” Alec protests.

“You _can_ and you _will_ ,” Jace counters gruffly.  “You _can_ go on your honeymoon because you should not take for fucking granted that you get to have one, and at least one of us should.  So you go get your husband and you portal to Fiji or France or wherever the hell he wants to go, and you enjoy it, and try to forget about this hellacious life for a week or so.  Got it?"  

“Jace--” Alec tries again, but his resolve is clearly waning.

“Go,” he insists, pushing Alec back a bit.  “Izzy’ll make sure I don’t do anything stupid like starve to death while you’re gone.”

After a few moments of hesitation, Alec finally seems to give in, “Fine, but I can portal back anytime if--”

“Would you just get the hell out of here, for both our sakes,?” Jace says, rolling his eyes and shoving Alec back a bit harder closing the bedroom door again with a bit of a smirk on his face.

Alec doesn’t leave immediately, so Izzy adds, “Just because you’re the oldest doesn’t mean you always have to take care of us.  We can manage without you for a little while. I can even call mom if it comes to that--you know she’ll be checking in on him whether I call or not.”  She lays a hand on his arm. “If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for Magnus?” she urges. “After all he’s been through these past few weeks, would you really deny him this?”

“Promise me you’ll let us know if we need to come back,” Alec replies.

“I swear by the angel, big brother,” she tells him, “as long as _you_ promise to have a daiquiri or two and try not to worry so much.”

“Thank you, Izzy,” he says earnestly, pulling her in for a quick hug before he finally heads off, presumably in search of Magnus.

 

* * *

**ALEC**

* * *

They step out of the portal into a quaint cabana lit by candlelight.  Alec can smell the salt air and hear the light crashing of waves on the shore somewhere nearby.   He drops his duffle bag to the ground as Magnus leads him toward a bed covered in silk sheets strewn with rose petals, they kiss all along the way, stumbling as they work to shed clothes as they go.  Alec maneuvers them onto the bed, Magnus’ weight on top of him as he falls back into the mattress. Magnus kisses him long and deep, tongue sweeping into Alec’s mouth and sending shivers down his spine.

“So tense, Alexander,” Magus comments, running his hands along Alec’s neck and shoulders.  

“Oh, um, here let me activate my iratze, and it might--”

“No, let me” Magnus requests, leaning in for one more quick kiss before rolling to the side and nudging Alec to flip onto his stomach.  Magnus reaches toward the nightstand and Alec recognizes the bottle of massage oil as the one they usually keep in Magnus’-- _their_ \--bedroom back in New York, specially brewed by Magnus with a scent similar to the shampoo Alec said he enjoyed so much.  He breathes a sigh of contentment as Magnus’ hands begin to knead at the knotted muscles in his shoulders, coaxing the tension out of Alec’s body like no one else can.

 

* * *

**MAGNUS**

* * *

Magnus doesn’t think he will ever tire of watching Alexander--the strong, stern, stoic shadowhunter--melt under Magnus’ practiced touch.  He gently works at the taut muscles in Alec’s back, occasionally pausing to trace over a rune or two in appreciation. Alec hums out contented sounds, but in less than five minutes he’s gone entirely quiet.  Magnus is about to ask what’s wrong when he realizes that Alec has dropped off to sleep--and not a light doze, he’s already breathing deep and steady, and he doesn’t stir when Magnus stops his ministrations and lays down into beside him.  He thinks of waking Alec, and he would if Alec didn’t look so peaceful lying there. Of course, the past few days have been a new kind of hell for all of them, and more than exhausting on a mortal body, certainly.  Besides, there’s no rush. They’ve got the whole honeymoon, after all. 

So Magnus simply pulls the sheets up over them, extinguishes the candles with a wave of his hand, and drifts off to sleep, contentedly nestled next to the man who is, and will always be, his loving husband.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take note of the updated tags and rating. If you feel I've missed anything, let me know!

* * *

  **ALEC**

* * *

 

One of Alec’s favorite things about waking up next to Magnus is that no matter what else may be going on, for just one moment of the morning, however fleeting it may be, Alec can ignore the rest of the world and just feel safe and content and _loved._ Like there’s a protective shield encasing them, blocking out everything but the bliss of the moment. It makes no logical sense--Alec has never felt anything like this satisfying illusion of peace--but it’s one in a lengthy list of realizations that have blossomed from his relationship with Magnus.  

So often he thinks back to the truth he spoke  all those months ago, when he barely knew Magnus

_I trust you...I don’t know why...but I do._

He knows that trust is what fosters this sense of safety with Magnus.  It lets him relax in a way no one else--

_Oh, god._

The memory of last night clicks into place, and Alec realizes with overwhelming mortification that he fell asleep before they even really began--Magnus had already put off their wedding night for him, and they finally get to it and Alec turns it into a literal snooze fest.   

He may just die of embarrassment right here.  Then Magnus lets out a soft snore--the exact kind he always insists only Alec does--and Alec realizes he probably wasn’t the only one who was exhausted to the bone after the past few weeks of chaos.  Pushing past his self-consciousness at the thought of being a disappointment last night, Alec shifts to close the space between them, reaching to trail his fingers down Magnus’ arm and getting a contented “hmm” from his husband as Magnus’ lips twist in a faint smile, though he doesn’t quite wake.  Alec ghosts his fingers over Magnus’ cheek before bringing his lips to Magnus’ in a gentle, chaste kiss. Magnus’ eyes blink open, taking a moment to focus on Alec’s face just a few inches away. He smiles, and it’s dazzling.

“Good morning, Alexander,” Magnus says, voice a bit rough from sleep.  “Sleep well?” he wonders with a bit of a smirk.

In answer Alec just surges forward, bringing their lips together to kiss Magnus in earnest.  He can feel Magnus’ lips shape into a grin just before they part.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Sorry, I--”

Magnus silences him with a kiss.  “Nothing to be sorry for,” he says.  “The whole point of this trip is that we can just relax and have some time for ourselves, remember?”

“Doesn’t mean I want to waste time _sleeping_ ,” Alec replies, moving his attention to kiss along Magnus’ jawline and down his neck.  

Magnus shudders, breath hitching just a little when Alec nips just slightly at the tender skin at the base of his neck.   He reaches to pull Alec in closer, fingers trailing up and down Alec’s back as he continues working his way down Magnus’ chest, swiping his tongue across one nipple as he brushes fingers lightly across the other and earning a rather wanton moan.  Alec smiles at the reaction. Although he’s learned the vast majority of his skills in bed from Magnus, he still credits himself with paying attention to which moves Magnus responds most strongly to, reveling in learning how to transform his typically graceful and debonair partner into an inelegant, inarticulate, needy-but-demanding lover.  Alec continues to tease with touches and kisses, relishing the way Magnus says his name over and over between gasps and moans.

 

* * *

  **MAGNUS**

* * *

 

As it usually does in the bedroom, Alec’s patience outlasts Magnus’.  Already almost painfully hard thanks to Alexander’s deft ministrations, and unable to take the prospect of this languid pace for much longer.  Magnus grasps Alec’s shoulders firmly and rolls them until he’s poised over Alec, grinding his erection down against his husband’s.

“Impatient,” Alec gasps as his hips jerk up toward Magnus, seeking more contact, one hand gripping Magnus’ shoulder tight while he uses the other to continue teasing touches to Magnus’ chest.       

“Is that a complaint?” Magnus wonders.  

“Of course not. Where’s the--”

Before Alec can finish asking, Magnus has summoned the lube, coating Alec’s length with a slow, teasing stroke that has Alec bucking up from the mattress and his nails digging into Magnus’ shoulders just slightly as he lets loose a string of curse words under his breath.  Magnus grins, wrapping his hand around both their cocks as best he can, rutting shamelessly and unrelentingly, just as Alec does. There will be plenty of time for slow, sweet sex this week, for now, Magnus is just chasing a quick bit of euphoria to get the day started.

Alec comes to climax first, and Magnus right after, with Alexander’s name on his lips.  

 

* * *

**ALEC**

* * *

 

He smiles over at Magnus as Magnus flops gracelessly to the side once he’s finished, reaching one hand over to brush a few strands of Alec’s hair out of his face.  

“I love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood,” Magnus says so earnestly Alec thinks his heart just might burst with the joy of it all, especially when he gets to correct his husband without a second thought.

“You mean Lightwood-Bane,” he says, to Magnus’ obvious surprise.

“What?”

“I mean--unless you like Bane-Lightwood better,” Alec adds hastily.  “I don’t care which.”

“You don’t have to--I know how important family names are for--”

“You’re right; they’re very important,” Alec agrees, “which is why I want your name with mine.”  When Magnus doesn’t immediately reply, Alec backtracks, realizing too late that maybe he shouldn't have assumed.  The Lightwood name may have come a long way, but there are some deep, bigoted roots Magnus might not want associated with the carefully earned reputation of High Warlock Bane.  “Unless you’d rather we didn’t; I know we haven’t really had a chance to talk about it, and if it would make you uncomfortable--”

“No,” Magnus interrupts, once again sporting the dazzling smile Alec loves beyond words.  “ I’m honored, Alexander. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable.”

“You’re sure?” Alec asks.

He nods. “I, Magnus Lightwood-Bane am absolutely sure,” he confirms, punctuating the declaration with soft kiss. “And now I, the newly-minted Mr. Lightwood-Bane am going to find us some breakfast. Back in a flash.”

 

 

* * *

**JACE**

* * *

 

Jace flips through the sketchbook clary left behind. It adds plenty of salt to the wound of his broken heart, but it still isn’t as painful as it was when he thought she was dead.  At least now he can appreciate the drawings, imagining that she’s out there making more; silently resolving to track her progress in her art career, once he can trust himself not to try and interact with her.  

He’d told Alec that Izzy was right about the honeymoon high helping Jace through the parabatai bond, but he hadn’t _actually_ expected it to help.  Nevertheless, it has, taking the edge off of Jace’s grief considerably, turning his misery from something akin to a constant stabbing pain into more a dull ache.  Persistent but manageable.

“You’re looking better,” Izzy says when she and Simon infiltrate Jace’s room to deliver a pie from his favorite pizzeria. He’s glad to see his little sister, but he could do without Simon bearing witness to his justified but still a bit embarrassing pity party.

“Pretty sure Alec hasn’t been this happy in his entire life,” Jace informs dryly.  “It’s infectious.”

“And while I’m glad for him, it’s more information about my brother than I need to know,” Izzy replies.

“I’m trying not to read too much into it,” Jace says with a grimace.

“Oh, come on, you guys,” Simon says, “just because it’s their honeymoon doesn’t mean that’s _all_ they're doing. I’m sure there’s other--ya know--activities that make him happy.  After all, even if they wanted to they couldn’t—“

“Stamina runes aren’t just for battle,” Jace interjects, solely for the amusement of watching Simon’s face as he catches the meaning.

Izzy punches Jace a little too hard in the shoulder.

“What?” Jace says feigning innocence. “It’s true.”

“Moving on to the real reason we’re here bribing you into a better mood with food,” Izzy says, changing the topic.  “Mom wants to see you, and I’m supposed to give you the option of going to her shop before she barges in here instead.”

Jace almost grimaces visibly at the thought of venturing out into the rest of the institute, much less the whole of New York. Too many people, too much to keep track of; he feels like every ounce of his willpower is devoted to keeping himself together.  When he’s out in the field he has to process everything in an instant, even if he’s not on mission; years of being raised with Valentine’s constant insistence on vigilance keeping him forever on high alert. Jace doesn’t need that stress added onto his plate right now; he’s not planning on leaving his relative solitude anytime soon.

But, then again, Maryse probably doesn’t want to come here, not after the de-runing and with the reception she got last time she arrived unannounced. And Alec isn’t here to step in this time if someone bothers her.  What kind of son would make his mother come into that just because he’s too weak to pull himself the hell together and--

“She doesn’t mind coming here, Jace,” Izzy says, as if she’s followed his train of thought perfectly.  “She just wants to see you to make sure you’re okay, especially since you haven’t answered your phone in three days...”

Part of him wants desperately for Maryse to come, especially given her more recent turn toward a nurturing mother.  The other part of Jace wonders if he won’t fall apart the minute she wraps her arms around him--or the minute he hears her voice soften and say “Oh, Jace” in a pitying tone, which is why he hasn’t been answering her calls.  

“Would you just call her and set up a time for her to drop by?” Izzy asks.  “before she comes in and breaks down your door. Runes or not, I wouldn’t put it past her,” she adds in mock warning.

“Yeah, I’ll call,” he agrees.

“Simon, could you give us just a minute?” Izzy requests, and Simon nods.

“Yeah, sure, no problem.  I’ll just--uh--like wander back to the lab and wait for you? No rush or anything; totally take your time.”

“Thanks,” she says with a smile.  Jace is glad to see her happy, but there’s a stab of jealousy accompanying the feeling.  

Alec with Magnus; Isabelle with Simon.

And Jace, all alone.

_Again._

“Simon,” Jace blurts just before he leaves the room, and the vampire turns, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Yeah?”

“How is she?” Jace asks, words sticking in his throat just a bit, coming out with an embarrassing croak.

Simon smiles, but it looks forced, and there’s some melancholy in his tone when he answers, “She’s good; she’s happy. She really is, Jace. I swear.”

Jace doesn’t reply, just nods and turns away.  Simon leaves, shutting the door softly behind him and leaving Jace and Izzy in silence for a few moments.

“How are you really?” she asks, reaching to place a hand on Jace’s shoulder.  “I know the bond with Alec is helping, but you’re not thinking of--you wouldn't do anything reckless or--”

“I’m not going to hurt myself,” he assures her, realizing her fear.  “I know that before--after everything with Lilith, when I thought Clary was dead--I was in a really fucked up place, mentally--I had you and Alec both scared half to death.  But I’m not back in that place now. This is--it’s agony, but it’s different. It’s--tolerable?”

She reaches to pull him into an embrace.  “Promise you’ll talk to me if that changes?  Losing Clary is bad enough; I can’t lose you, too.”

“You won’t,” he says.  “I promise.” After another pause he realizes that he’s been a selfish ass and hasn’t checked in on Isabelle at all since everything happened.

“Are _you_ okay?” he wonders.  “Alec told me that she’d asked you to be her parabatai.  I know how close you two were--”

“I’m managing,” Izzy replies.  “One day at a time.”

  


* * *

  **SIMON**

* * *

 

Simon’s phone rings just as he’s entering the lab, and the goofy selfie of him and Becky pops up to herald his sister’s call.

“Hey, sis,” he answers.

“Everything okay?” she wonders--no doubt because he sent a text for her to call him, and not at their usual weekly time when mom’s at her AA meeting.

“Not exactly.”

“Tell me what you need.  I can be on a plane in an hour if I need to be.  I’ve been saving up an emergency plane ticket fund so--”

“It’s not urgent,” he assures her.  “But thanks.”

“So then what’s going on?”

He explains in as short a version as he can manage, amazed that while his eyes get a little dewy he doesn’t dissolve into total blubbering.  

“So you’re just going to cut yourself out of Clary’s life?  Are you sure this is the right move, Simon?” Becky asks when he’s done.  

“I’m never sure what right move is anymore,” he admits glumly.

“I mean Clary losing her mom is bad enough, but making her think she’s lost you and Luke too...it just seems...kinda harsh.”

“That’s why I’m updating you.  You’ve gotta keep being her surrogate big sis,” he says. “So she’s not totally alone.”

“Of course I’ll stay in her life; are you sure you’re going to be able to _not_ be in her life?”

“Well, I’m more than a little worried our presence might trigger something-- or maybe the angels won’t like it and they’ll try to punish her or us or—-I don’t know. I just—I want her safe and alive and happy, like you and mom, and generally the farther you are from the shadow world the easier it is to accomplish that,” he expounds.  

“And?” Becca says in the lengthy silence that follows, knowing Simon well enough to sense he isn’t quite done confessing.

“And I can’t handle being in her life this way having to lie to her every day,” he says finally. “Luke did it for eighteen years, and he said it was terrible every moment; I believe him.  It was hard enough with you and Mom, but Clary—knowing that she had all this and loved it, and then it was taken away just because she tried to do the right thing...After everything me and Clary have been through together, I can’t let our whole friendship be a lie.  I just can’t. I know it’s selfish, but—“

“Hey, it’s not selfish to know your limits, man.  You’ve gotta take care of yourself, too. There’s _nothing_ wrong with that. You’ve set her up for a really great life, just like you did with mom. I’m proud of you.”

He huffs a laugh at the ridiculousness of the statement.

“I’m _serious_ ,” she says. “Not that I’d ever, ya know, actually admit it to anyone besides you.   You’ve had to do a lot of growing up lately, a lot of life-and-death choices to make. And you always try to do what’s best for the people you care about.  I really am proud of you.”

“Thanks, Bec.”

“And hey, you better at the _very least_ be getting some great inspiration for your music from all this turmoil. Right?”

He genuinely laughs at that. “You’re not wrong.”

“Good. Silver lining then. Can’t wait to hear it when I come up to visit Clary.  I guess I’ll give her a call tomorrow? Find out a good weekend to come up and visit or something?”  

“You’re the best.”

“I’m well aware,” she informs him, and he can picture the smartass grin on her face even without the video chat.  

On Rebecca’s end of the phone, Simon hears his mother’s voice in the background announcing her return home from work.

“I better go,” she tells him. “Love you, dork.”

“You, too.”

 

* * *

**MAGNUS**

* * *

 

He’s never cared much for sand, so Magnus conjures up a hammock instead, setting up the perfect place to spend the dusk hours close at Alexander’s side, the calming sound of the waves very nearly lulling Magnus to sleep.  

But Alec’s tracing his parabatai rune again, fingers running lightly over it in an absent-minded way suggesting he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.  Magnus reaches to cover Alec’s hand with his own, wondering “Do we need to go back?”

“Hmm?” Alec asks.

“Does your parabatai need you?” he clarifies.

“Oh,” Alec says, seemingly self-conscious now that he realizes which rune his fingers were tracing.  “No, he’s fine--just...sad. I don’t think it’s as bad it has been before.”

“Well, that’s something, I suppose.”

“Yeah.”

“A furrowed brow, Alexander,” Magnus comments, trying to tease gently but not ignore the sign of worry.  “As adorable as it is, I’d rather you just say whatever’s on your mind.”

“I’m not sure it’s the best honeymoon conversation; I was just, thinking.”

“Tell me anyway?” Magnus requests.  “I don’t mind if it’s not typical honeymoon talk.  Most of my favorite things about our relationship involve just how atypical it is.”

“Just--do you remember, back when the owl was possessing Jace and you were helping us try to get him back--what it said--about if I had to pick between the two of you--”

“That’s still on your mind?” Magnus says, heart aching to think Alexander has been bottling up concerns for so long.  

“And then you gave up your magic to get him back for me.”

“A difficult decision, but a choice I’d make again, even knowing the aftermath,” Magnus says honestly, but barely suppressing a shudder at the thought. “I know what Jace means to you.”

“Yeah, but you mean _more_ , Magnus.”  Magnus smiles at the declaration.   “I meant the vow I made. About protecting you have all others.  It’s just that things with Jace--they’re—different. I love him but as my parabatai, and if I had to choose between the two of you--”

Magnus presses a finger to Alec’s lips to stop the rest of the spiraling thought.  “Let’s just agree to do our best to keep you out of any situation where you have to choose that on some ultimate level, shall we?” Magnus says.  “And, for the record, Alexander, I think it would be an injustice to your relationship with Jace _and_ your relationship with me to think of then as some kind of petty competition.”  Alec remains silent, brow still furrowed, and Magnus expounds, “Jace shares a part of your soul; the two of you will always be connected, and that connection is part of who you are.  I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world. Our relationship--our marriage--” he corrects “is an entirely different connection, though every bit as strong and enduring. In the day-to-day, you may have to prioritize one relationship over the other, based on the situation at hand, and I’m sure there will be times when it’s difficult to balance the two, but, ultimately, your love is not a finite resource, Alexander; you can love your parabatai without diminishing the amount of love remaining to give your husband.”

“You’re really okay with all of it?”

“You quite literally walked into hell for me, intent to help me battle the queen of hell herself; and then to stay with me in Edom if we survived it.  I would say that’s an act of devotion that leaves very little room to worry about your level of dedication to this relationship,” Magnus points out. “I wish you’d mentioned sooner than this was bothering you.”

“I don’t know that ‘bother’ is the right word--just--we’ve been married less than a week, and already trying to manage things and--”

“Alexander?”

“What?”

“While I love every worrisome cell in your body, you really should cut yourself some slack,” Magnus says, leaning over for a soft, sweet kiss.  “You will manage the obstacles and dilemmas as they come; you always do; and I’ll be right there with you,” He pulls from their vows as he reminds, taking his turn to cite back to their vows, “and I will catch you when you fall” he punctuates the words with another kiss along Alec’s neck, “and when you soar,” another kiss along Alec’s collarbone  “I will help you reach your greatest heights.”

Alec threads his fingers through Magnus’ hair, guiding his head back up so their lips meet again.  In the next instant, Alec is rolling them out of the hammock, scooping Magnus up like a damsel in distress and whisking him back toward the cabana.

_Thank the angel for that stamina rune..._

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in posting! Thanks for sticking with me! And for all the sweet comments that kept me going! Y'all are amazing!

**ISABELLE**

* * *

By the time Alec and Magnus return from their honeymoon, Izzy has had about all she can take of holding herself together.  She needs time away, and it must show. After she updates Alec so he can resume his usual post, he smiles fondly and says, “You did great, Iz.  Take some time for yourself, okay? That’s an order.”

It’s all the encouragement she needs to spend the next couple days at Simon’s, doing absolutely nothing but watching old movies Simon loves and eating candy and pretending that nothing else matters.  But Simon keeps running errands that take just a little too long, and it doesn’t take a sleuth to know he’s going to check in on Clary. She doesn’t push the topic; if it’s what Simon needs, she won’t say anything until he brings it up first.  She honestly doesn’t expect him to, until he comes back from a late night blood run to the Hunter’s Moon asking, “Hey, when did Jace start feeling up to getting out and about?”

“What? Where did you see him? He hasn’t even been leaving his room, much less going on mission.” 

“Oh, well, uh--”

“Wait, there’s no way Alec has cleared him for missions yet.  Where did you see him?”

“At--uh--well, outside of, Clary’s apartment,” Simon admits, looking a bit bashful.  “Normally I just kind of, swing by on my way home from things; I make a deal with myself, that I don’t even stop, just vamp speed by in a blur to see there’s no crisis going on, but this time--”

“Did he see you?”

“Yeah, there was a second of awkward eye contact before he took off.”

“Where was he headed?”

“Looked like back toward the institute.”

“I have to go,” Izzy says, hurrying to gather her things and find her boots.  

“Should we be worried? I mean--it’s just--he’s just checking up on her, right?” Simon reasons. 

“I worry about  _ everything  _ with Jace these days,” she says with a sigh.  

“Want me to come with you?” Simon offers.  “Moral support?”

“No, I’ll be fine; probably better if it’s just me anyway,” she tells him, “but I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure,” Simon says, leaning in for a kiss goodbye.  “Let me know if I can help.”

“Simon?” she says, taking his hand briefly.  “I didn’t say anything before, about you visiting Clary, but, you know I’m here for you, too, if you need me.”

He smiles and nods.  “I know.”

“Does it help? Keeping an eye on her?” Izzy wonders; she’s considered more than once going to watch Clary in her new life, but in the end she imagines it will be more salt on the wound than actually helpful.

“Not really,” he admits, “but it’s kind of a compulsion.  I just--can’t quite help myself. I’ve been going less and less though--every day or two instead of every hour or two so--progress, right?”

“At those mundane support group meetings, they used to mention other groups they had---some of them are for grief and things like that,” Izzy says.  “We could try one together, if you want?”

“I’d like that,” Simons replies.  “I’ll look up some options and text you?”

“Perfect.”

 

* * *

**ALEC**

* * *

Alec can’t say he’s surprised with Isabelle reports that Jace has been going out to see Clary, but he is surprised he hadn’t noticed on his own.  With moving from the institute and into the apartment not to mention all the work to help reopen the fallen institutes in Jonathan’s wake, Alec’s been kept more than busy, and Jace’s general preference for solitude in times like these has kept Alec’s checking in to a minimum.  Still, if Jace is mustering the wherewithal to go out and check on Clary. It’s time to give Jace more to focus on than his grief. 

“Where’s Jace now?” Alec asks his sister.  “Still out keeping tabs on Clary?”

“I don’t think so,” she replies.  “Simon said he left as soon as they made eye contact.  I assume he’s back here, in his room or on the roof maybe?”

Alec nods.  “Okay, call Simon; tell him to be in the training room in ten minutes.”

“Why?”

“Generally we train in the training room,” Alec replies dryly, unable to resist to opportunity to tease.  “What else?”

“You know what I mean,” she retorts, rolling her eyes.  “Why do you want Simon here to train?”

“It’ll give Jace something to do--I can’t clear him for duty yet, but if he’s training Simon he’ll have a project to focus on.”

“You want  _ Jace  _ to train  _ Simon _ ?” Isabelle replies.  “Are you  _ trying  _ to get my boyfriend killed?”

“Trying to prevent it, actually,” Alec says.  “It’ll be good for Jace to have a project; it will  _ also  _ be good for Simon to have a fighting strategy more refined than “just try not to die.”

“Fair point,” she admits.  “But I’m supervising.”

“Probably wise,” Alec concedes with a grin.  “It should be entertaining, if nothing else.”

“You’re entirely too amused by this plan,” Izzy informs him.  

“I’m your big brother,” Alec says with a grin.  “I’m entitled to be amused at the prospect of embarrassing your boyfriend.”

“ _ Alec _ !”

“All in the name of his safety,” Alec reminds with mock innocence.  “Besides, like you said, you’ll be supervising. He’ll be fine.”

 

* * *

**JACE**

* * *

 

He retreats like a coward after Simon catches him following Clary, hiding away in his room to wallow in his shame and misery a while longer.  It’s utterly pathetic; he should be absolutely mortified. Yet, he can’t quite make himself care. He’s been back to his solitude for less than an hour when Alec barges in, knocking on the door but entering before he waits for permission.  Jace knows the look on Alec’s face, the firm set of determination etched in his jaw. Alec has a plan, and there’s about to be no getting rid of him. 

_ Damn it  _ he grumbles internally.  

“Up,” Alec demands of Jace, jerking the curtains at the window open and flooding the room with daylight; Jace curses at him.  “Up!” Alec repeats. “That’s an order.”

“Fuck you,” Jace answers.  “I’m not cleared for duty, remember? You can’t give me orders or missions or--”

“First of all, I’m the head of this institute, I can give orders to anybody in it as I see fit,” Alec replies, unwavering in the face of Jace’s answer.  “Second, you still aren’t cleared for fieldwork, but you are hereby cleared for in-house assignments, and your assistance is needed on the training floor,” Alec replies.

“Why? Who am I training?” 

“If Isabelle is going to date that idiot vampire, who nearly gets himself killed on a regular basis, then we need to teach him how to fight.  Otherwise, he’s entirely too likely to get Izzy killed,” Alec replies.  

“So then Izzy can teach him to fight.  You don’t need me.”

“You’re the best fighter of all of us, and you know it.  Usually, you make apoint of reminding us, actually,” Alec points out, refusing to budge on the issue.  “Plus, she’s dating him, so I’m not entirely confident that she can be objective. That’s exactly why I didn’t train Magnus.”

“Oh,  _ that’s  _ why?” Jace teases, seizing the opportunity to get at least a bit of a jab back at Alec, since her really can’t refuse a direct order without undermining his parabatai’s authority--which would be childish and petty and Alec doesn't deserve that. “I thought you had to stop training him because the bedroom eyes you two were giving each other during sparring sessions were enough to make the Angel himself blush.”

“Don’t exaggerate!” Alec protests immediately, turning red in clear mortification.  

Jace grins.  “Nothing to be ashamed of, buddy; you know a healthy--”

“Look, it’s beside the point; Magnus and I have nothing to do with this.  She needs you to help out Simon. You’re the best fighter we have; don’t make me say it again.  Just get out there, would you? He and Izzy are waiting.”

“You just said she wasn’t training him.”

“She’s not,” Alec confirms,  “but she also doesn’t trust you not to be an asshole without supervision, so she’s observing.”

“Fair enough,” Jace concedes with a grin.  He starts mentally planning where and how to start this process, and his grin only widens.  “This is gonna be kinda fun.”

 

* * *

**ALEC**

* * *

All through the counsel meeting Alec can tell that Simon is practically bursting at the seams to talk about something.  The vampire has no doubt made leaps and bounds in the area of decorum over the past several months, but he’s still got a ways to go to perfect his “poker face.”  So much so that Isabelle has actually started making him  _ play  _ poker to practice.  From what Jace has told him, one of Simon’s biggest issues in his last few months of training has been reining in his emotions.   Sure enough, when Maia and Lorenzo leave, Simon lingers in Alec’s office.

“What is it?” Alec asks, eager to be done and get home to Magnus, not listen to Simon ramble on about something that apparently wasn’t even important enough to bring up during the meeting.

“I had a thought about--about maybe taking the next step in the whole alliance with the downworld stuff,” Simon says.  “Kinda wanted to run it by you first though, before I pitch it to everybody else. If you could just, ya know? Just--just keep an open mind?”

Alec pinches the bridge of his nose, willing himself to be patient, or he’ll catch hell from Isabelle later for being rude to Simon.  He picks up his phone holding up a finger to tell Simon to pause his rambling. Simon obeys the silent instruction. Magnus answers Alec’s call on the second ring.

“Meeting running late?” Magnus guesses.

“No, but the vampire wants to talk to me about something. Hopefully I won’t be very late,” Alec replies, giving Simon a not so subtle hint.  “I’ll call when I’m done? Portal home?”

“Perfect. Tell Simon I said hello and to please not keep you long. I’ll see you soon, Alexander.”

Alec places the phone back on the desk and turns his attention back to Simon, who is frowning with his arms crossed.

“What? Why are you pouting? You didn’t have three seconds to spare for me to call Magnus?” Alec demands. 

“No, of course I don’t mind that,” Simon replies.  “It’s very considerate, actually.”

“Then  _ what _ ?”

“How long have we know each other?” Simon says and Alec shrugs, trying to think back.  “Going on a year, man,” Simon says, answering his own question. “And we’ve lived about a dozen lifetimes in those months, literally been to hell and back, and you’re  _ still  _ calling me ‘the vampire’ like you can’t remember my name? Really?  _ Really _ ?” 

Alec doesn’t reply, too embarrassed by what he’d have to admit. Besides, Simon isn’t really looking for input; he’s rambling and venting as per usual.  

“I mean, come on. We’ve almost died together like a million times.  It can’t be that hard to keep track of the vampires in your life, especially if Magnus knows you’re referring to me when you just say ‘the vampire.’”  

Alec raises an eyebrow, wondering if Simon will get to the realization on his own.   

“Wait…he did know exactly which vampire you were talking about, but I know I’m not the only vampire you’d talk about; plus Magnus has plenty of vampire friends you’d need to distinguish between; plus he’d never just casually let you continue to be an asshole to a Downworlder, much less one who helped save his life—-and actually you’re working really hard to help Shadowhunter-Downworlder relations, which means…” a dopey grin appears on Simon’s face as he concludes “it’s like a nickname--it started out as a broody, annoyed thing, but you know me better than you did, you just kept the nickname, and it’s totally like a friendly term of endearment, now, isn’t it?”

Alec rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t contradict Simon’s correct analysis.

“Dude, that’s so nice,” Simon says, all trace of hurt and anger gone.  “I’m touched, actually.”

“Yeah, touched in the head,” Alec grumbles in reply, “Before you jumped down that random rabbit hole, you wanted to talk to me about something that was actually important?” he prompts.

“Right, right, yeah totally,” Simon says, regrouping.  “So I was re-watching one of my favorite westerns the other night and--”

“This is about a  _ movie?!”  _ Alec says, incredulous.

“Stay with me, man; I’ll get there.” Simon replies dismissively.

“You’d better.”

“So anyway, I was watching, and ya know, the sheriff appoints his deputy and it just like  _ clicked _ .”

“What clicked?”

“That we should totally do that--like it would do a lot of good if we did it right.  Part of the issue with downworld-shadowhunter relations is that you guys have all the power, but if we could deputize downworlders, then it starts to break down some of the “us vs. them” of things and it would inherently build relationships.  There’s already a shortage of able-bodied shadowhunters in the wake of Valentine and then Jonathan. Plus, you’ve got Luke now, he’s been a cop and he’s back to being a shadow hunter after spending some time as a downworlder. He’d be like the  _ perfect  _ resource.  And if New York starts a deputy program, maybe some of the other institutes will follow your lead, ya know?  I think it could be really, really cool.”

Alec’s knee-jerk reaction is to say it will never work, but he’s learning to undermine that prejudiced conditioning from the previous phase of his life.  Instead he takes time to consider what Simon has said--and appreciate that he didn’t pitch this idea at a full meeting and put Alec on the sport but instead brought it up in a time where Alec has the chance to mull over the possibility in peace.  It’s a long shot--and there will be a  _ lot  _ of pushback, to say the least, but if there’s any chance of it working, New York really is the perfect institute to start it.  

“Say something, man; don’t leave me hanging,” Simon urges as the silence lingers on.

“I’m thinking,” Alec replies, perturbed.  “It’s a big proposal. Definitely--unorthodox.”

“But possible, right? Something to think about?”

“Definitely something to think about,” Alec agrees.  “How much thought have  _ you  _ put into this?” he wonders. 

“Not a whole lot--just kind of brainstorming.”

“Work with Isabelle,” Alec instructs.  “You two get me a full deputy program proposal by the end of the week, and we’ll find time to meet and talk it over.  Let’s see how feasible it really is on paper before we get too far into it.”

“Yeah, yeah, sounds like a plan.  We’ll totally have it together by Friday,” Simon says, beaming in unmistakable excitement.

“See you then.”

 

* * *

**MAGNUS**

* * *

 

“So, how was the meeting?” Magnus wonders as he magics an impressive dinner of blackened swordfish onto the table and lights the candles with a snap of his fingers.  

“I think it went well,” Alex replies, still honestly thrilled with any meeting that doesn’t end in a shouting match.

         “What did Simon want to discuss with you?” Magnus wonders.

“An interesting idea, actually,” Alec replies. “For once.”

“Oh?” 

“Have you ever seen a western?” 

“Alexander, I  _ lived  _ a western,” he replies with a smile. “Well, for a week or two anyway. Ultimately, I realized my tastes are a little too refined to enjoy the Wild West for extended periods.”  His expression turns quizzical, “Was Simon’s idea about a western? I’m sure I could find you some assless chaps if the occasion arose.”

Alec very nearly spits out his drink.  “Some  _ what _ ?!

“A joke, my dear,” Magnus replies with a grin, “unless you feel otherwise.”

“I don’t even know where to begin responding to that,” Alex replies.  

Magnus grins at his flustered groom.  “Just tell me Simon’s idea then.”

“Well, it was about having downworlders serve as deputies for The Clave,” Alec explains.  “So that it’s not just shadowhunters enforcing the Accords, working to break down the ‘us vs. them’ view that everyone has.  I think there’s a lot of potential in the idea. I told him to work with Izzy to get a full project proposal by the end of the week.  I just wonder--am I fooling myself to even entertain the idea?”

“I think it’s wonderful that you’re entertaining the idea,” Magnus replies earnestly.  “Not long ago I would have thought it naive to believe that the nephilim would even dane to work with the downworld, but that was before I married the head of the New York Institute.  I think you’ve got the most favorable climate you could ask for to give this a try. You’ll need to plan it, and proceed with caution, but I have no doubt that if anyone can make it work, it’s you.” 

Alec beams at the endorsement.  “You’ll help then?”

“Of course,” Magnus agrees.  

Later that night as they climb into bed by the beams of the nearly full moon streaming through the sheer curtains, Alec reaches across the small distance between them, cupping Magnus’ cheek gently in his hand.      

“You’re worried,” he says, an observation and not a question; Magnus doesn’t deny it.  “Tell me why?” he requests. “The deputy plan I mentioned over dinner?”

Magnus sighs.  “I really do think it’s an excellent idea.”

“But?” Alec prods.

“But you’ve pushed so much with The Clave these past months.  I worry what the breaking point will be. Giving this much power to downworlders...it could be the change that The Clave won’t tolerate.  It could make you a lot of enemies.”

Magnus has seen The Clave turn on its own more than a few times in the past centuries.  There has been so much progress in recent years--especially in recent months--but a part of him is still waiting for it all to come crashing down.  And he can’t help but worry that if Alexander keeps pushing he’ll be the first to take the fall if the tables should turn.  

“Or it could bring in countless allies,” Alec counters.  “We’ll be careful, Magnus; we’ll do it right; I’m not taking this move lightly.”

“You take very little lightly, Alexander.  I’m not worried about that,” Magnus replies, teasing a bit with his tone.  

“Are you saying I’m too serious?” Alec wonders, moving into Magnus’ space, reaching to stroke his long fingers down Magnus’ back as he falls into the comfortable, oft-used banter.  “Saying I don’t know how to relax?” 

“And if I was?” Magnus replies, with a grin.

“Then I guess I’d just have to prove you wrong,” Alex replies, moving forward to bring his lips to Magnus.’ He sets the pace slow and languid, drawing out their mutual pleasure until they're both blissed out in the best possible ways.  As usual, Magnus cleans them up with a wave of his hand, and then drifts to sleep in Alexander’s arms before worry can steal away this moment of joy.  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the lull between updates! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

JACE

* * *

“This is pretty amazing, Alec,” Jace says as he looks over the training plan outline for the deputy program.  

“Izzy and Simon worked with Luke to structure most of it.  I didn’t do much.”

“You took Simon seriously when he pitched the idea,” Jace counters.  “Managing to take  _ him _ seriously is no small feat,” he teases.  

Alec huffs a little laugh and asks, “How’s his combat training coming?”

“Better than expected, honestly,” Jace replies, “but you’re the only one I’ll admit that to.  Don’t go spreading it around.”

Alec grins, but returns to perusing the plans for tomorrow’s downworlder orientation. Jace can sense the trepidation in his parabatai, even if he couldn’t spot the tension in Alec’s shoulder and the way his jaw strains from gritting his teeth.

“Exactly how far out on a limb are you stepping with this?” Jace asks, finally voicing the concern he’s harbored ever since Alec first shared this plan.  

“There’s nothing in the Law that says this can’t happen,” Alec says, biting nervously at his lip.  “I’ve checked and re-checked.”

“Just because it isn’t forbidden doesn’t mean it’s condoned,” Jace reminds.

“You’re starting to sound like Magnus,” Alec mutters, rubbing his eyes tiredly.  

“Is Magnus worried?” Jace wonders, because he’s come to realize that Magnus’ centuries with the clave are more insightful than Jace would ever care to admit.  If Magnus is worried, maybe they all should be.   

“He’s—cautious,” Alec says.  “And I’ll admit it’s a bit of a loophole like the one that allowed him to represent Isabelle at her trial.  An unwritten rule because the Clave didn’t think any Shadowhunter would ever dream of enacting a plan like this.”

“Pompous idiots,” Jace says with a shrug.  “Their mistake.”

“And it should be enough permission to get us started—once they see the good that can come of it…then maybe…”

“So to answer my question, we’re going to be pretty far out on a limb,” Jace interjects.  “Just me,” Alec replies. “If they really make an issue of it, everyone else can claim they were just following orders.”

“I thought this was a volunteer only mission?” Jace says.

“Well, it is, but it’s implemented by me; I’m going to tell them all that they’re to say it was my orders if they’re questioned.”

“Alec, this is—

“I know the risk I’m taking,” Alec says somberly, he raises his gaze up from the plans to meet Jace’s eye.  “I also know it’s the right thing to do. I’m not going to stand by and let all the progress that’s been made go stale or fall to the wayside.”

“Okay, then; I sure hope that limb is strong enough to support us both,” Jace says simply.   “I got your back on this, okay? Just tell me what you need—and please don’t make me babysit Simon too often?”

Alec smiles, but it quickly returns to a frown of concentration and Alec continues to reason.  “It’s a risk, but it’s the right risk to take. There are more important things than my job title.  More to be gained with this risk than there is to be lost.”

“After everything we’ve seen where the Clave is involved—where the  _ angels  _ are involved.  I’m not so sure of that anymore,” Jace warns.  “They can take more from you than just your job title.”

_ Look what they did to Clary,  _ he thinks, though he can’t bring himself to say it out loud. 

“I refuse to make every decision in fear of them,” Alec says, quiet but firm.  “I don’t want to let them control me like that again. I’m not the pliant soldier I used to be.”

“Nope,” Jace agrees.  “You’re gonna make history.”

“Let’s just hope I’m in the history books as a trailblazer and not a cautionary tale,” Alex says, raising his scotch glass.

“I’ll drink to that,” Jace agrees, clicking his own glass to Alec’s and drinking deep to try and assuage some of his worry.  “So what do you need for tomorrow?”

* * *

ISABELLE

* * *

Isabelle looks over the group of downworlder deputies and struggles to keep a proud smile in check.  There are seventeen, which is less than they’d hoped for, but a solid start nonetheless. After weeks of training, they’ve begun to accompany some of the shadow hunters on missions.  The also have patrolled areas in some of the areas around the city that tend to be hotbeds of demonic activity. It’s a promising new dawn for uniting the shadow world, she just worries that there is bound to be a downturn in their good luck.   

“Why the frown?” Simon wonders, joining her as she watches the sparring pairs.  “I think they’re looking pretty good.”

“They are,” she agrees.  “And I’m proud that we’re making progress; but they’re trusting me—you—Alec—everyone here to make sure this doesn’t backfire, and that’s not something that I can guarantee.”

“Everyone involved knows there are some gray areas we’re working in,” Simon reminds.  “We know what we signed up for.”

“Doesn’t make me worry any less.”

“That’s because you worry too much,” Simon informs her.  “Look, let’s take a break from managing tonight; we’ll order in Chinese food and watch some fun and lighthearted 80s movies or something, okay?”

She hesitates to agree, and he pushes good-naturedly.  “Come on,  _ please _ ?”

“Okay, sure,” she concedes, forever grateful to have Simon be so willing to help her take the edge off when stress gets her wound up too tightly.  

This relationship they’re building isn’t strictly by the book according to her mundane NA program, but she feels certain that what she has with Simon isn’t the fleeting drama of a mundane relationship.  Maybe it’s not the same kind of high as yin fen supplied, but it’s a euphoria in its own right. 

 “Actually, yeah, that sounds really good,” she adds, reaching to squeeze his hand quickly.  “Thanks, Simon.”

“Happy to help,” he answers earnestly, with a quick peck of a kiss to her cheek.

* * *

MAGNUS

* * *

Magnus’ heart skips a beat when he reads the words of the unexpected fire message.

_ Medical assistance required immediately.  New York Institute. _

Alexander wasn’t even supposed to be on duty today, he just went in to catch up on some paperwork from the past few weeks finally implementing the deputy program.

_ He’s perfectly safe, surely,  _ Magnus reasons, even as he rushes to portal to the Institute infirmary.  

He arrives to a scene of chaos.  No less than a dozen wounded surround him, the stench of ichor and blood assaulting his senses.  He hurries to the nearest bed, where a werewolf lies nearly lifeless. Magnus sets to work, trying to scan the room for any signs of his family, but none are here. 

_ Because they’re safe, or because they’re already dead?  _

He shakes his head as if he could dislodge the terrible thought, and focuses on the work at hand.  Just as he gets the werewolf stabilized, Alec appears at his side.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner,” he says, squeezing Magnus’ shoulder.  “How can I help?”

“Are you hurt?” Magnus asks, glancing away from his work just long enough to assess for himself.  Alec looks as pristine as he did this morning, not a hair out of place; he must really have just been in his office today, thank the gods. 

“Not a scratch,” Alec confirms.   “I wasn’t out on patrol with them--none of the family.  These are all the wounded. If we can save them, no casualties at all, so what can I do?” he repeats.  “Do you need my strength?” he offers, holding up his hand.  

Magnus nods, clasping his husband’s hand in his own and setting to work on the shadowhunter that seems to fall next in the triage; he works alongside the silent brothers and shadowhunters who’ve come to draw healing runes on those who can take them.  When Alec begins to wane visibly beside him, Isobel appears beside them, ready to step in, and Alec preses lips to the back of Magnus’ hand briefly before letting go.  

“I should get back to the ops center,” Alec says.  

“Rest first, Alexander,” Magnus bids him.  “You gave too much.”

“I’m fine,” Alec replies.  “Worry about them,” he directs with a nod to his fallen soldiers.  

It means more than Magnus can say that Alec truly cares about the survival of all of them--shadowhunters and downworlders--equally.  The death of any would weigh the same on his husband’s conscious. Magnus doesn’t intend to let that be an issue. There’s lots of work still to be done, but they’ve faced much worse odds and emerged triumphant.  

* * *

ALEC

* * *

“You were amazing today,” Alec murmurs, carding his fingers through Magnus’ hair as he dozes on Alec’s chest--too exhausted even to portal home, and so they’re crashing in Alec’s old room at the institute.  “Absolutely  _ amazing _ .”

“I think we can call it a win,” Magnus agrees sleepily.  

“The largest attack since we began the deputy program, and not a single casualty,” Alec points out.  “ _ Definitely _ a win.  Except for the impending paperwork.”

He hopes it’s setting up a long line of wins yet to come as they only improve their force and gain more downworlder allies.  Maybe if he can get a few more warlocks involves to take some of the pressure of Magnus to be on call, then…

“Stop thinking so loudly, Alexander,” Magnus complains. 

“ _ Thinking  _ too loudly?” he replies, incredulous.  

“I know you’re already plotting improvements and strategizing how to move forward from here,” Magnus says.  “An admirable goal, my love, but it can wait until tomorrow. You gave quite a lot today as well. Rest.”

“Mmmm,” Alec agrees noncommittally, though he does reach over obligingly to turn out the lamp. Despite himself, it’s not long after that he drifts off to sleep, soothed by the steady sound of Magnus’ peaceful breathing. 

When he wakes the next morning, slipping out of bed quietly so as not to wake Magnus, he finds waiting on his desk a stack of seven new applications for the deputy program.  Not only did they manage to keep everyone alive yesterday, apparently it inspired some more participants.

_ This just might work after all…  _ Alec thinks with a small smile as he begins to glance over the candidates who’ve submitted their names.  

* * *

JACE

* * *

Jace hurries along with the others to the ops center as the alarm rings out it’s harsh staccato through the Institute.  He really should have known better than to believe things had finally fallen into routine finally--demon attacks down; excellent diplomatic relationships with the downworld; deputy program not only surviving but thriving and growing by the week--it was all much too smooth sailing to last. 

 Maybe he’d just hoped that the constant pain of missing Clary was suffering enough for a while….

He sees the map of the city projected on the command board. Alec is staring at it in barely-masked horror, and the uncountable tiny dots indicate the absolute swarm of demons that are apparently descending on some of the most populated portions of the city. The majority of their shadowhunters were dispatched several hours ago to support the LA Institute in the midst of an upsurge there.   They’re outnumbered five to one, if not more. Alec turns, searching faces until he finds Jace’s and their eyes meet.  

“We’ve managed worse,” Alec says grimly.  “Isabelle,” he calls to their sister, “Alert every downworlder deputy we have who isn’t already here on duty.  This is all hands on deck.” 

She nods, heading for the nearest console to presumably to send out the alerts.  Alec begins to call out orders to the room at large, ordering all those gathered--shadowhunters and deputized downworlders alike--into squadrons to go meet the hoard.  He’s unsurprised when Alec appoints them to the worst section of the invasion, and they arm themselves accordingly. Jace has a fleeting thought as he watches Simon arm himself that maybe the vampire isn’t ready for this.  But there’s no time for second guessing. There never is. 

Only time to fight, and to win--or to die trying. 

* * *

ALEC

* * *

There is no doubt they’re winning, but it’s costing them dearly.  Alec tries to filter out the sounds around him--mundanes screaming, at effects the glamors don’t hide, cries of pain from his own people, and the shrieks of the dying demons.  He’s focusing on covering Magnus, leaving Magnus able to devote all his concentration to the unparalleled magic saving them all from a much,  _ much  _ worse fate.   Alec takes the lesser demons as they come, with narrow misses that leave him hastily patching himself up with runes to counteract the venom.  It’s in one such moment of weakness that he fails Magnus.  

He hears the flap of wings before he sees the creacher, manages to get his bow up just a breath too late, and though his arrow strikes true, the demon’s claws have already raked down Magnus’ back, leaving trails of blood and inchyr in their wake as Magnus falls to his knees.   He doesn’t make a sound--maybe he can’t--maybe the damage is too deep, too great. Alec is there as Magnus pitches forward, catching him before he can truly fall.  

“Stay with me, Magnus; stay with me,” he pleads, clasping Magnus’ blood-drenched hand in his own.  “I’ve got you.”

“Patch him up,” Maia tells him, “We’ll cover you.” Alec looks up to see that she and Jace are flanking them, shielding them from the onslaught--which is blessedly beginning to lessen.  He counts only four demons left, and all seem well in hand of those in their squadron left standing. He rifles through the contents of the added compartment on his quiver, filled with bandages intended for those like Magnus who can’t take healing runes.  Magnus and Isobel have been working on salves and bandages imbued with magic, but they’re meant to supplement the power of a warlock--not replace it.  

_ Please let this be enough. _

“Hold on, Manus, just hold on.  I’m going to get you patched up, and then we’ll get you back to the infirmary.  You’ll be good as new in no time,” Alec babbles, worried that if he stops the reassurance the terror of the situation will overwhelm him.  “Just hold on. Stay with me.”

“Of course, Alexander,” Magnus murmurs, with the faintest smile before his eyes flutter shut.  

“No, no, no, no,” Alec says, shaking Magnus as much as he dares.  “Look at me, Magnus. Stay awake; stay with me.”

He manages with shaking hands to apply all the bandages by the time the others join them, announcing the demise of the final four demons.  Isabelle helps Alec to his feet, he notes the blood gushing from a cut above her left eye.  

“Nothing, big brother,” she says before he can worry aloud.  “Let’s just get everyone back to the institute.”

“No portal,” Alec says, assessing the others, and grateful that no one else is immobile.  “Pair up, stick close together,” he tells them. “Don’t let your guard down; we don’t know if this is over yet.  We’ll stay together and regroup with the others at the Institute.”

* * *

JACE

* * *

When they finally,  _ finally  _ make it back to the institute--battered but alive and praying to the angels that the other squadrons are in better shape and the silent brothers aren’t too overwhelmed to help--an envoy from the clave, escorted by no less than eight armed guards waiting for them.  

“Alec Lightwood. I’ve been sent to serve as interim head of the institute following this attack.  You are to report to Idris  _ immediately _ ,” the envoy commands.

Jace recognizes a few of the group by sight, but doesn’t know names.  It rarely bodes well when strangers are sent to retrieve anyone--much less the head of the institute. Jace moves toward Alec, pushing away from Maia’s support and stumbling a bit.  She catches him, but doesn’t try to hold him back. In fact, she helps him as he continues to move toward his parabatai. 

“I can’t,” Alec replies, attempting to move past her as he continues to carry Magnus’ unconscious form toward the infirmary.  “My people are wounded. My husband is--”

“Don’t mistake it for a request,” the woman says coldly.  “You’ve been summoned to the Gard.” Two of the guards step forward, clearly intent on removing Magnus from Alec’s arms.  

“He is my  _ husband.   _ He was wounded protecting this city and, I’m not leaving his side until I  _ know  _ he’s--”

“Transfer Warlock Bane to another shadowhunter’s care, or we’ll remove him ourselves,” she orders, unmoved. 

Jace can feel Alec’s fury and panic; he wants to fight them.  But Alec’s still injured, his strength rune may have helped him carry Magnus this far, but it’s no match against the strength of the guards.  Jace would help all he can, but he’s in no shape to fight either. Besides, it would all delay Magnus’ care even more, and if his sickly pallor is any indicator, there’s not a moment to lose in getting Magnus to help.  

“Lightwood-Bane,” Alec corrects, voice cold with forced calm.  

“Transfer him to someone else or--”

Simon and Isobel step forward together, still helping one another but able to take Magnus from Alec’s arms between the two of them.  Murmurs of protest rise from the battle-worn group, but the guards don’t waver and the envoy announces loudly.  

“Alec Lightwood, you are under arrest for insubordination, subversion, and treason against the Clave.”

“Treason?!” Jace demands lurching forward.  

Everything fades into a dull roar, and the world swims out of focus as Jace continues to struggle against Maia and the other hands that hold him.  Through the rushing in his ears, one voice breaks through, Alec’s:  

“Jace, stop fighting; there’s no point.  It’s okay. The truth will come out, and it will be fine.  Just make sure Magnus is okay, you hear me? Take care of him. Promise me.”

He meets Alec’s eyes and nods, jaw set firm as they drag his parabatai away in chains.  He’ll make sure Magnus is okay; and then he’s getting Alec the hell out of the Gard, if it’s the last thing he does.   

 

* * *

MAGNUS

* * *

Magnus’ first impression as he moves toward waking is the unpleasant sensation of being jostled, accentuating every ache and pain throughout his weary body, and he groans in protest.

“Wake the  _ fuck  _ up, Magnus,” Jace demands harshly.  

“ _ Jace! _ ” Simon’s voice chastises.  “He almost  _ died _ .”

“That was  _ hours _ ago,” Jace counters angrily.  “Come on, Magnus. Alec needs you, dammit.  Wake  _ up _ !”

_ Alec needs you… _

He remembers too well Alec’s pleas for Magnus to hold on just a bit longer, his desperate promises to get Magnus to safety, as Magnus faded in and out of consciousness on their route back.  If it’s been hours since then as Simon says, Alec must be worrying himself sick.

He musters the strength to say, “Tell Alexander I’m fine.”  

“I know  _ you’re _ fine, Magnus!” Jace replies, “but  _ Alec _ isn’t.  They  _ took  _ him, Magnus.  You have to wake up!”

“They took him?!” Magnus repeats, wrenching his eyes open against the harsh glare of the infirmary lights.  “No, we won--we overpowered the hoard--I saw--Alexander was carrying me. He said--”

 “We did win, but the Clave sent guards to arrest him, and I was too fucking weak to stop any of it, so you’ve got to portal me the fuck to Idris so we can get him the hell away from those--”

“Jace, even if Magnus had the strength to portal you, there’s no way you can break into the Gard,” Isabelle’s voice chimes in from the cot beside Magnus.  

“Watch me,” Jace replies with a growl, fury burning in his eyes.  

Magnus struggles to sit up, latching onto his own outrage to prevent being overcome with panic.  How  _ dare  _ they take Alexander? And like this? When not only Alec’s people but Alec himself were barely walking away from an attach with their lives?

_ Cowards... _

“What’s the state of the institute?” Magnus asks.  “I assume we’re on some kind of lock down; what am I up against?”

“Not much actually,” Jace replies, “at least, not as far as we can tell.  I’m not sure if that’s good or bad--maybe they just think we’re all to weak from the fight to do much--or they’re confident we couldn’t get to him even if we tried so…” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair and laments, “Magnus, we need a plan.  You know the Clave better than any of us. If we can get you the strength to portal to--”

Before Jace can get any farther in his thought, his face contorts into a grimace of pain and he falls to his knees, slumping against Isobel’s cot for support.  He doesn’t cry out, but from the set of his jaw that’s only because he’s clenching his teeth to avoid it.

“What’s wrong?” Izzy says.  “You said you weren’t hurt, Jace. What--”

Jace shakes his head.  “Not me. Alec,” he gasps.  “It’s Alec.”

* * *

ALEC

* * *

_ You’re a murder; nothing more,  _ Clary accuses as she backs Alec toward the ledge of Magnus’ balcony.    

A harsh slap across his face distracts from the terrible memory and the searing pain in Alec’s chest where they’ve drawn the agony rune.  His captor is asking him something, demanding an answer, but he can’t focus on the words. He grips Alec’s chin roughly, and his spit flies in Alec’s face as he roars, “I said  _ tell  _ me what they’re planning for the New York institute! How long has Magnus Bane been the one calling the shots to--”

“Not--not Magnus,” he manages to gasp, because  _ no, no they can’t think it’s Magnus’ fault.   _ “It was me, not MAgnus.”  _ They can’t blame him.  They’ll kill him. It’s my fault--all my fault.    _

The thought transitions into another replay of Clary,  _ this is all your fault.  Your fault my mother is dead.  _

They activate the agony rune again,  and Alex can feel Joselyn’s blood on his hand, warm slick dripping down his arm.  The harsh gurgle of her last rasping breaths.

_ No, no I shouldn’t remember this.  I don’t remember this. It’s all in my head.  It’s just the agony rune. I wasn’t in control.  She didn’t beg me for her life. These are just memories of nightmares.  Nothing real.   _

They keep asking questions, all variations of the same demands, all questions he can’t answer--not with the information they seem to want.   The questions make less and less sense over time--and Alec isn’t sure if it’s just because he’s delirious and can’t put this all together or if their questions really don’t make sense. They ask about Toronto and LA and Mexico City and Chicago.  They ask about people he hasn’t spoken to in years--about people he’s never met. Over and over and over he insists he’s not under anyone else’s control; the downworlders are allies; there’s no nefarious plan to overtake the North American Institutes.  He doesn’t know how to make them believe that they’re trying to follow the Clave’s goals of keeping peace, not subvert them.

He loses track of time--loses track of how many different interrogators have come through--loses track of how many times he relives the false memories of killing Joselyn, the hallucination of Clary driving him over the edge of the balcony, the soul-rending sensation of feeling Jace die-- _ Jace, this must be hurting, Jace, no, no, no, Angel have mercy Jace shouldn’t have to feel this-- _ the haunted look in Magnus’ eyes after he survived the torture Alec should have saved him from, Magnus drunk and inconsolable the night Alec wanted to propose, Magnus’ face when Alec broke his heart,  Magnus disappearing into the portal to Edom to save them all, Magnus in a pool of his own blood because Alec couldn’t protect him today...

_ Today? _

_ It couldn’t have been today...too much pain for so little time…surely, surely… _

The pain only intensifies, the disorenting onslaught of agony never slackens, until every time the rune is activates Alec goes again and again and again to the ledge, terrified of just how badly he wants to step off and just have it be over, sickened by the relief that accompanies the sensation of falling over the edge.

And so when the darkness finally swallows him up, he almost welcomes it, and lets himself be lost. 

 

* * *

SIMON

* * *

This is a horrible plan.

A really  _ truly  _ terrible, horrible plan. 

But Isobel’s here, and hell if Simon was going to stay behind while everyone he cares about in the ShadowWorld staged a hail Mary rescue mission for Alec.  

So he’s here.

And pretty sure they are all gonna die; probably slow and painful if what Jace is currently dealing with is any indicator.  It’s taken three of them to help him walk through the pain--really they’re carrying him more than anything, but Simon figures it would be in poor taste to point that out at the moment.  

“There’s like--a little chance this could work, right?” Simon says.  “It’s not impossible.”

“Sure, Simon, that’s the spirit,” Maia says wryly.  

When they reach the outskirts of Alicante, they pause; the downworlders who were well enough--and willing to come along and risk their lives for a second time today--will remain here, in surrender, while Izzy, Jace, Luke, and Underhill continue on to the Gard.  It’s a hair away from a suicide mission, in all honesty, hoping beyond hope that this is something that they can explain away--or at the very least that this show of vulnerability will convey their good faith to the Clave and help them all get out of this in one peice and keep Alec from whatever horrible fate they have planned for him.

“I don’t like this,” Simon says to Izzy as she activates her strength rune so that she can bear most of Jace’s weight on her own.  “What if they just take all of you into custody? They know we can’t get to you if--”

“I don’t know what else to do, Simon,” she replies, eyes wide and earnest.  “But I have to try something. He’s my brother.”

“I know--I just--I wish I could come with you.”

“We’ll be back  _ soon _ ,” she says firmly.  “With Alec,” she adds, looking to Magnus who, by the look in his eyes, is debating whether he could burn this whole city to the ground despite its countless wards and protections.   

Jace straightens suddenly, agonizing pain apparently evaporating.

“What’s happening?” Magnus demands.  “What is it?”

“He must be unconscious,” Jace says.  “He’s weak, but he’s still there. I can feel him.”

“Thank the Angel,” Izzy breathes.  

 “Come on; before I’m useless again,” Jace adds, taking off at a sprint and the other shadowhunters follow, leaving the downworlders with nothing to do but wait.

* * *

ALEC

* * *

When Alec feels the pain ebb away and realizes someone has activated his healing rune, he assumes it’s a tactical move.  The more healed he is, the longer the next round of this insanity can last, after all. 

“Come on, big brother; open your eyes,” Izzy’s pleads, voice strained.  

“No,” he tries to shout--he has to make sure whoever is in charge of these interrogations hears him---but the word comes out strangled and hoarse and desperate.  “No, she doesn’t--she’s got nothing to do with any of it!” he manages to get out as firmly as he can, finally managing to get his eyes open just a sliver, now that the swelling in his battered face is subsiding.  “Jace, too,” he adds, realizing in horror that his parabatai is here, too. “It was all on my orders--all my idea,” Alec rambles on.  

He can’t get his eyes open wide enough to see how many of their captors are here, and he has to make them  _ believe  _ him, dammit.  He has to keep Jace and Izzy out of this. They don’t deserve this. Izzy’s trying to protest, to get him to stop, and he tunes her out--no doubt she wants to take some of the blame from him--help shoulder the punishment, but he can't let her.  He won’t. 

  “They didn’t have a choice!” he persists despite Izzy’s continued attempts to shush him.  “Let them go! They didn’t do anything wrong; they just followed my orders to--”

“Alec, it’s about Magnus!” Jace says, shaking him roughly, shocking him to silence, and panic floods through Alex like he’s been doused in ice water.  

“Magnus?!” He manages to open his eyes marginally wider, but Jace’s face is still too blurry to make out the expression.  “What about--”

“Magnus is  _ fine _ ,” Izzy interjects.  “Jace, I can’t  _ believe  _ you--”

“It got him to shut up and listen for two seconds, didn’t it?” Jace retorts. 

Their easy banter does more to calm Alec more than anything either of them could say directly.  He manages a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“That’s it, Alec, just breathe; it’s okay,” Isabelle soothes.  “It’s over; I promise. We’re taking you home. We’re all safe.” 

“How?” he wonders, although the voice in his head screams to stop questioning and just get the hell out; he can’t help but wonder if this is a hallucination? Or some kind of test? It can’t be this simple. 

“It’s a long story, but the main point is that it was all just a misunderstanding, okay?” Izzy says.

“ _ Misunderstanding _ ?” he repeats, incredulous. 

“We’ll explain it all later,” Jace says firmly.  “Right now, let’s get you out of here and back to New York.”

_ New York. _

“Magnus is really okay? What about everyone else?” Alec asks, heart clenching in anticipation of the answer. 

“Everyone’s okay,” Izzy assures.  “Some serious injuries but no casualties.”

“I don’t understand what--I mean how is--why--”

“Magnus is worried sick; everyone is, ” Jace interrupts, a little too forcefully, squeezing Alec’s shoulder just a little too hard.  “ _ We shouldn’t keep them waiting, Alec _ .”

He understands the undertone of  _ let’s just get the fuck out of here, and we’ll talk later  _ in his Parabatai’s voice.  Alec gets to his feet with their help, leaning more heavily on them than he’d like, in spite of the help from the healing runes.  Jace and Izzy take his weight in stride, and together they make their way out of the chamber.  

Jace pauses just as they cross the threshold. For one terrible moment, Alec thinks this is some new level of psychological torture from the agony rune--an illusion of resuce only to wake up still imprisoned. 

“Alec, you trust me, don’t you?” Jace asks. 

“Of course,” Alec replies without hesitation.

“We’re safe; everything really is okay.  I promise you,” Jace swears.

“Okay…”

“This is for the best.”

“What do you--”

Before Alec can finish the question, Jace has drawn the sleep rune, and Alec drifts to sleep almost instantly.

* * *

MAGNUS

* * *

“You’d think being as old as you are, you’d be a little better at the whole patience thing,” Simon comments as Magnus paces.  

Magnus pauses just long enough to deliver a withering glare and then continues his pacing.  If he doesn’t do something to get this energy out, he’ll go mad, but he doesn’t want to waste the energy it would take to blow off steam using magic.   Simon continues rambling, but Magnus tunes him out--best for everyone here really if he just avoids talking until Alexander is safely returned to him.  

Because Alexander  _ will  _ be safely returned to him.  

There is no other option. 

Magnus refuses to entertain the idea. 

_ Alexander will be fine.  They will get him out of there; I will heal whatever damage they have done to him; I will convince him to let me rain a slow and painful wrath upon the idiotic nephelem who dared to-- _

“Look!” Maia cries, jarring Magnus from his plots of revenge, and he follows her gaze to where familiar figures have come into view.  

His heart seizes in his chest as he takes in Alexander’s limp form in Jace’s arms, head lolling against Jace’s chest.  He would never allow himself to be carried so tenderly. He would insist on at least the pretense of walking. Unless, he  _ can’t.  _ Unless...

“Oh, God,” Maia says.  “Is he--”

“He’s alive; I can hear his heartbeat,” Simon says.  “It’s strong; he’s okay.  

Magnus draws in a shaky breath.  Reassured but still waiting for the moment when the others gets close enough for him to see the rise and fall of Alec’s chest for himself.    

“He’s okay; Jace drew a sleep rune on him to make the trip back out easier,” Isabelle says as they rejoin the group.  

“So this insane plan actually  _ worked _ ?” Simon says.  “They saw us all come voluntarily and just--”

“It’s never that simple with the Clave,” Magnus replies darkly.  “What the hell is going on?”

“It’s too much to explain here,” Jace says.  “Let’s just get him home.”

Magnus nods, because that is his number one priority.  Getting Alexander home, getting him healed up, and making sure no one ever dares to takes him away from Magnus again.  He takes the hand Luke offers him to draw enough supplemental strength to open the portal and deliver them all safely back to NewYork, surpassing the institute in favor of bringing them all within the safety of the apartment, which, while already a stronghold of security is about to because the Fort Knox of New York once he’s got the strength to start the upgrades. 

* * *

ALEC 

* * *

“Can you hear me, Alexander?” Magnus’ soft voice wonders.  

He sits bolt upright in panic.  _ No, Magnus can’t be here. They’ll— _

__ Memories of Jace and Izzy coming for him resurface as Alec takes in the familiar surrounding of their bedroom in New York and Magnus’ words of comfort begin to register as the terror abates.

__   “You’re safe; everything’s all right.  You’re home,” Magnus repeats calmly.  

        “Magnus,” he begins, but his voice breaks before he can get any further into what he wants to say.

_ I thought you might die. _

_         I thought I might never see you again. _

_         I thought if I did see you again, it would only be to watch as they executed you.  _

_        I thought...I thought...I thought…. _

“You’ve had quite the ordeal,” Magnus says.  “I hated to wake you, but you need to eat something if you’re going to get your strength back.”

“Food? You’re talking to me about _food_?! Magnus, I don’t care about that! I care about _you._ Are you okay?”

“I believe I should be asking  _ you  _ that.”

“You almost  _ died _ , Magnus. I thought--I wasn’t sure if--if we got you to help in time and--”

“Shhhh, love, I’m just fine,” Magnus says, reaching slowly toward Alec—likes Alec is a frightened animal that might bolt from quick movements—and cupping Alec's face in his hand.  “Nothing for you to worry about. The silent brothers and Colin--you remember that promising young warlock from Queens?--they took good care of me. I’m good as new.”

Magnus is trying too hard to be flippant--his usual self, upbeat and confident, and while Alec appreciates the effort, he knows Magnus too well to miss the tired look in his husband’s eyes.  

“Magnus—”

“You really should eat something,” Magnus interrupts. “I must admit it smells delicious.”

He snaps his fingers, and a small table appears at the bedside.

“Is that chicken soup?” Alec wonders, mouth watering at the wonderful aroma. 

“Matzoh ball soup,” Magnus replies. “From Simon and Isabelle actually. Apparently his grandmother’s recipe.”

“ _ Simon  _ made me  _ soup _ ?” 

“While he can grate on the nerves, he can be rather endearing,” Magnus says as he ladles some out into a bowl. “Apparently it’s ‘Lewis family guaranteed to boost recovery time for everything from sniffles to broken bones,” he goes on with a fond smile.  “Although, I would guess it was a distraction to prevent your sister from razing Alicante to the ground as much as anything.”

Silence falls between them and Alec wonders finally, “What the hell happened, Magnus?”

“I’m still not entirely clear on that,” Magnus replies, face shadowed in anger. 

A quiet knock on the door interrupts and Jace opens it slowly, not waiting for permission to enter. 

“Sorry to eavesdrop,” he says.

“No, you’re not,” Alec replies, rolling his eyes just to see the small smile it puts on Jace’s face. 

“Do you want what little answers I’ve got or not?” he retorts.

“You haven’t already told Magnus?” Alec says with a frown. 

“Magnus was—” he falters for words, apparently looking for a polite option? 

“Busy bolstering the warding on this apartment with the fervor if a madman?” Magnus provides with a wry grin. “I’m not ashamed of it.  I would appreciate getting up to speed now, though.”

Jace steps into the room, and Magnus snaps wave his hand to conjure a chair by the bed for him to sit in.  

“By the time we got there the Inquisitor was already taking things back in hand,” Jace begins.

“ _ Back  _ in hand? Meaning she’d lost control?” Magnus replies. 

“Well, more like--the envoy carried out an unsanctioned mission,” Jace says.  “That envoy wasn’t sent to charge you, or even take you into custody, much less what happened after. It was supposed to be a precaution.  Apparently the attack on New York wasn’t an isolated incident. Every major city in North America had similar attacks at almost precisely the same time.”

“They kept asking me about them...the other locations…and I couldn’t understand why…” Alec says. “They thought we orchestrated it?”

“We were the last city hit in the wave of attacks, slightly behind the others; we had the fewest demons; we had wounded but no mass casualties; we-”

“We’re led by a man who’s married to a prince of hell,” Magnus cuts in bitterly. “Who’s piloting the most pregressive program the Clave has seen in centuries.  Don’t leave those juicy tidbit out.”

Jace nods, face grim.  There’s no point denying that counts as a mark against them in a lot of eyes.  

“They were supposed to come and check in on things; make sure we were on the up and up,” Jace goes on. “They’ve apparently already been monitoring more closely than usual—our numbers improved enough once the deputy program was implemented.   It flagged in the system as a statistically significant change. Which is pretty awesome really, except that it meant a bunch of bigots have been paying attention and stewing for weeks, waiting for any excuse to swoop in and explain away your progress.”  Jace pauses, quiet fury still on his face. “They tried to justify it, taking the leap of interrogating you like that but—there’s just no justifying it.”

“No,” Magnus agrees darkly, and Alec reaches for his hand, gripping tight in reassurance.

“Most of them have been arrested,” Jace says. “There was some issue of sorting out who knew they were operating under false pretenses and who genuinely thought they were following orders. They were still questioning everyone.  The Inquisitor was furious.”

“Really?” Alec replies—question slipped out before he can stop it.

“I should hope so!” Magnus says. “That kind of affront on  _ anyone _ , much less the Head of an Institute, without express orders?!”

“Exactly,” Jace replies. “Just because you’re not necessarily a  _ conventional _ Head of an Institute, doesn’t minimize your importance or your position, Alec.  Don’t sell yourself short.”

“So what now?” Magnus asks.  “Demotions, I would imagine?” 

Jace shakes his head.  “Not just demotions,  _ de-runing _ \--at least that’s what she was shouting at them when we made our way through.”

“That’s why you put me to sleep on the way out?” Alec assumes. 

“Figured you’d had enough to deal with without the chaos, confusion, and absolutely irate Inquisitor to add in,” Jace confirms with a nod.  “You feeling okay?” he wonders. “Seemed like Magnus had it all pretty well taken care of, but--”

“Good as new,” Alec confirms, forcing a smile.  

_ At least physically… _

“You should still eat up,” Jace tells him.  “Plus, if you don’t Simon will pout about it, and that’ll piss Izzy off, and…” he waves his hand in a ‘eh, sisters, what are you gonna do?’ kind of way.

“Easier to just eat the soup,” Alec supposes, though he’s starving and it’s really not much of an imposition.  

He convinces Jace and Magnus to join him, though they eat in the bedroom despite Alec’s insistence that he’s perfectly able to get to the table.   Magnus keeps watching his every move with a small crease of worry in his forehead, which Alec wouldn’t notice if he wasn’t watching Magnus just as attentively. 

When Jace excuses himself to check in with Izzy and the others and give them updates, Alec tugs at Magnus, pulling gently until he comes to join Alec where he’s propped against the headboard.  Alec leans in for a quick kiss and then rests his forehead together wearily on Magnus’ shoulder. 

“I was so scared I was going to lose you today,” he admits quietly.  

“I know the feeling,” Magnus murmurs in reply, brushing his fingers gently through Alec’s hair.  “But I’m fine, now, Alexander,” Magnus murmurs in reply, “and we’re both safe.”

“Well, even if you are fine, just--let me hold you until I believe it?” Alec requests, only slightly embarrassed at the neediness in his voice.  

“Of course.”

They settle down onto the bed, and Magnus curls up against Alec’s side, head resting on Alec’s chest.  Alec wraps his arms around Magnus, and thanks the Angel for the millionth time that they survived the day. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! There's some more explaining/unpacking of Alec's ordeal for next chapter, but in the meantime, hope you enjoyed this one!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's read and left kudos/commented! It means the world and keeps me moving on the drafting even if it takes a while to post. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Please note that I haven't read the books (yet), so all my knowledge of this 'verse and its rules and its characters come only from what I've seen in the show.
> 
> I'll be updating tags as I go along, but, if you feel I've missed or mislabeled things, let me know.
> 
> Unending thanks to the brilliant and beautiful Strangeredlantern, who thankfully provides both technical and moral support for these authorial endeavors of mine. (Although, admittedly my impatience and capriciousness mean several of these chapters went up before she had a chance to beta read, so all mistakes are mine.)


End file.
